and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I looked at my own cervix.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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