I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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