Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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