I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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