This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.