He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Don't tell me you're on acid again