I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"