Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
