You can't motorboat a personality
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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