I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
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All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize