Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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