i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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