did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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