is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
