I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
