that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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