I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Someone signed my nipple.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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