Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
