Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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