i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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