at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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