Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
