And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The best revenge is premature balding
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
