your room smells of hookers.
And success
Acid is not a monday night drug
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
