Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
