my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize