question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
try to milk me bitch
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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