how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
