I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
