you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
