I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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