He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
