I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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