As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
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There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize