Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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