I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
