thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
