i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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