hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
