Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
