as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
