At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize