I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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