Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward