I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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