i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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