He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
