Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
