So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
