It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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