Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
