Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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