could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Randomize
