He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
bring money and cleavage
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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