Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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