these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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