I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize