All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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